Thursday, November 5, 2009
Where was I...... Okay.
I'll start with Monday. It was a very busy day for April. She had her mother, her mothers boyfriend, her other sister (who is eighteen, pregnant and due in December) Yeah I know right... and the DCYF representative over at the house so they all could tell their side of the story about Kayla neglecting Joslyn. I guess it went fairly smooth, just a few stressful moments.
April's mother uses an array of very colorful language.... and no I don't mean the wonderful colors of the rainbow either.
Her favorite metaphor is, starts with an Fand ends with K. She uses it to describe just about everything and anything. Let's not talk about when she gets angry either, which happens a lot. And it isn't a nice sight if you get caught out in public with her..... she doesn't hold any punches. Whether you're a a cashier, bank teller or even a priest, you get generously sprinkled with a heaping dose of Fwonder.
So anyway, despite her mother saying Kayla was F'n garbage to her, trash etc... you get the picture, the lady mostly listened to April, which you all know is pretty level headed..... most of the time anyway. The DCYF representative was understanding about the situation and realized there was reason for her to be concerned for Joslyn, but she also reiterated to April that she is there to represent the child, and she can only disclose information about the case to Joslyn's guardian........ which happens to be Kayla.
She told April that she would contact Kayla and set up a meeting with her as well, so she could go over the case with her and allow her tell her side of the story.
Sounds fair, but was a little stressful for April.
Oh by the way, we all have become VERY attached to Joslyn. So giving her back would be very hard. Probably not the wisest thing for us to do......... getting attached.
We could never be regular foster parents. We would end up adopting all the children we fostered..... I guess that's what happens when you have a big ridiculous heart.
Okay.... on to the weeks events. So April kept texting Kayla, to open up a line of communication with her. We know it would be better to do it calmly rather than getting angry. After all we have to remember that this is about Joslyn.
April received a few text messages back from her and she promised to call.... but she didn't. Now she won't answer any messages from us, and is also ignoring the DCYF representative as well.
April called the DCYF representative yesterday, and she said that since Kayla is not meeting with her, it doesn't look good for her. If a mother can't be bothered to meet with the DCYF representative to fight to get her daughter back, that doesn't look good for her.
On another note, Aprils mother keeps calling April, and hinting to the fact that she should be the one taking care of Joslyn.
Let me start off by saying that their place is no place for a baby. Both her and her boyfriend smoke........ they smoke a lot, and are financially worse than us... if that's possible....... Neither of them have jobs, their health is high risk with a list that includes emphysema, heart disease, high blood pressure, and a rare neurological disease caused by zinc poisoning. They live in a two bedroom apartment that is dark and gloomy with shades drawn all day, and did I mention out of touch with the needs of an infant. She thinks that we think we should have her because we have more toys here.......
I am amazed at how human beings can convince themselves of such things. We are all capable of this, just at differen't levels.
Oh did I mention we are all sick.......
Yeah that's right.
Swine Flue? Oh who the hell knows.......
The good thing is we are all on the track to getting better. Happily, despite a few moans and groans, complants, grumpiness, fevers, coughing, etc....
Most teachers in Jorgies school have been out as well.
Oh and April couldn't go to work this week. Talk about a blow to the budget. All of her clients are either pregnant or have infants in the house. If it is swine flu that we have, that wouldn't be fair to them for her to go around coughing small little germs everywhere.
Oh what the hell..... it's only money.
So now it's Thursday and that's what's happening so far.
And Baby Makes Five.........
Friday, October 30, 2009
Oh that's right, April talked to Kayla last week and convinced her that we should watch Joslyn while she spends some time getting better.
April had asked me if I was okay with this and of course I said yes. How could I deny this poor child a chance. A chance to live. A chance to survive.
So, April text Kayla and set up a time when she could take her. She went up last week and took Joslyn. You know what I find truly depressing. Kayla didn't even say I LOVE YOU to her child when April Left. I can't even comprehend.......
You know what's even more depressing than that......
It has been about a week and She hasn't called once to see how her baby child is doing.
Nope, not once.
And no she isn't getting better...... just on a drug binge somewhere.
So there you go, now baby Joslyn makes five. No it hasn't been easy. But is life ever really easy.
If you had a chance to save the life of someone who couldn't save their own life, would you?
Wednesday we went to court and filed for guardianship for Joslyn. That was $90 fee to just file.
Is that crazy or what......
We have a court date for November 23rd to find out if we get guardianship. Guardianship lasts one calendar year, so we will have to wait and see. Are we up for adopting Joslyn. So far we are if her mother doesn't get better, and more responsible.
Meanwhile there has been some sleepless nights for April and I. Actually every night except the first night has been broken sleep and quite sleepless.
The other night it got to the point where we were all at our wits end, kids included. It was the middle of the night, Joslyn was crying despite everything we could do, and we all had very little sleep. Sanity was a precious gift we all had very little of.
April was at the point where she was unsure if she could do it......
I said absolutely not! We will not, and would not give up. I told everyone that we would get through, that we could do this. We could save this little girls life, and it would get better once we get her to a normal life.
We all forgot how much work a baby can be. Adding to the problem was Kayla keeping her child up all night partying, exposing her to drugs through breast milk and who know what else.
We are now getting Joslyn into a groove. A normal groove of eating real food, (which judging by her weight, she was NOT eating properly) and sleeping. She gets a lot of attention from all of us and she loves the kids.
Oh did I mention she calls April ma-ma.
While April went to work yesterday I took the kids on a walk to give Joslyn a nap. It was a nice walk, took some pictures and we all got fresh air, and the kids had fun.........
And I got to take some cool pictures........
I love Black and White Photo's............. Its too bad life wasn't that simple.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Okay.............so your probably wondering why we have an instant addition to our family without April being pregnant. No it wasn't the worlds quickest pregnancy. If it was, we wouldn't have any money problems now would we...
Anyways, this temporary addition ........ at least we think it's temporary, is Joslyn and she will be in our care for a little while I think. She's turning one year old next month and we're all attached to her already.
She's very cute isn't she, lovable and very small..... but don't get me wrong, this is far from a picnic.
But don't let me get too far ahead of myself.
It's a long story. One that will take a few posts to tell.
But let me start from the beginning.
April's sister (Joslyn's mother) has a drug problem. It's been an ongoing battle for her for many years now. We don't really know the full extent of the problem and for how long it's been going on, but we know it's been a while.
We've tried to help her in the past, but there is only so much we can do. She is 21 years old now and most things that could have been done (locking her in a room until she gets better) are all too late now. She is able to make her own decisions because she is an adult.
She really isn't able to make her own decisions, that's obvious..
Drugs can be a menace, and they have raised havoc in this girls life for many years. It is sad and unfortunate.
She became pregnant with Joslyn about 21 months ago. She was running free and gallivanting around with an illegal immigrant drug dealer who was selling cocaine. I'm sure he was selling other stuff too, but who the hell knows.
I guess America really is the land of opportunity. Where the hell are my opportunities..... Oh yeah that's right, I want to keep mine legal.
He was caught and deported to Uruguay.........leaving Kayla pregnant and with no place to stay. Don't get me wrong, this was the best thing that could have happened for her. While she was with him and until he was deported, she admitted to using cocaine while she was pregnant........
Holy Shit! Right.........
So, he was kicked out of the country. That was was when she started spinning lies again. Did I mention that she is an unbelievable liar. Like one of the best I've ever seen. She has been spinning stories since she was a preteen, so she's pretty good at it. Too bad she couldn't channel that energy into writing. But like I said this isn't about her, it's too late for that.
Her lies consist of promises of rehab, new beginnings, going to college, and they go on and on. She is very good at manipulating people and telling them what they want to hear. She spins a yarn as if the thread is on sale at Joane Fabrics.
So anyway, when her money making drug providing boyfriend was deported, she went crawling back to her Dad. She had no true friends, because I think all of them are druggies. So she went back to her Dad knowing that she can can really manipulate him. He believes her lies despite being stung a few times by them. But he's filled with hope that she will get better, and wants to beleive every lie she tells him. Unfortunatley he doesn't see that it only does more harm than good.
And she exploits that.
So despite knowing she is a phenominal liar, the whole family came together to support her..........
Oh by the way, just as a side note. April's mother is separated from her Dad, she lives with another man while she is married to him, and is suing him for alimony. It's a lot crazier than that but we will keep that brief right now.
So everyone vowed to support Kayla and we all did. She had the baby, and promised to get better, go to school and start fresh. We all were so hopeful. The sad thing is, the State provides so much for people like her. They give them so many opportunities to take advantage of. College for free is one of them, but despite all those opportunities.... she didn't take advantage of any of them. Well she did, food stamps and money in which she doesn't spend on the child.
So anyways we all remained hopefull, at least until two months ago. That was when she fell off of a drug cliff. We don't know the full extent, just that there is proof of a major drug problem. April got a call from her Dad about a week and a half ago..... and he was believing another lie she was telling him about her selling her mothers Oxycodone. The reality is, she is hooked on it and was stealing it from her. How long it was happening, we aren't sure. We do know that she would disappear for days at a time on a drug binge and would take Joslyn with her. It makes me wonder what she was exposed to, what type of schedule she had and what she ate, because Kayla would show up back at her Dads comming down from it all.
I can only imagine what she did with the child while on her binges. She was probably strapped in a car seat, and tucked off in a corner. The room filled with loud booming music, smoke and people using drugs and poor Joslyn was there watching it all, maybe even crying without anyone hearing her.
Wow, that's depressing.
She was even breastfeeding Joslyn while using drugs...... how could she do that! From the cradle to the grave takes on a whole new defenition doesn't it.
She's with us now, so that's good.
Well, April is going crazy in the other room. I'm going to help her.
I will write more later......